Goal Achievement as an Inside Job

Goal Achievement as an Inside Job

It is so energizing to watch my clients set and achieve their ‘inner goals’ and watch their outer world significantly improve. Most of us set goals that are outwardly focused. We consider that if things are different/better/deeper/faster in our outer world then we will feel better on the inside...

Releasing Ourselves from Burden

Releasing Ourselves from Burden

What is it that has us feel like a burden in life? So many of us are afraid to be a burden to others – what taught us to have this fear? When did we learn that getting our own needs met is a burden...

Getting What We Want from Others

Getting What We Want from Others

Why do we rarely get what we want from others, even when we give our all? What if we could never count on getting what we wanted from others? How would that have us feel...

Beliefs that Limit Our Optimism

Beliefs that Limit Our Optimism

Why are some people able to see the cup ½ full instead of ½ empty? What allows them to be optimistic about the future even when there is little evidence of success in the moment? Read more to see how you measure up...

What Creates our Addictions?

What Creates our Addictions?

Millions are addicted to something. Take your pick: work, food, talking, gossip, attention, news, prescription medication, alcohol, recreational drugs, exercise, organizing, gambling, shopping, high risk experiences, emotional pain, or physical pain…

It's OK Not to Know

It's OK Not to Know

Why do we feel that we need to ‘know’ or have the right answer in order to feel safe? In our desire to appear successful to ourselves and others, we may feel we are supposed to be the expert in whatever we are doing or saying. Yet, when we don’t know the answer, or we make a mistake, we find ourselves hiding it from others or blaming them…

Getting the Love We Want

Getting the Love We Want

Where do we believe love comes from? Does it come from others when we are 'loveable' enough? Is it something that comes from God? Most of us crave it, seek it, and spend our lives hoping to get enough of it. We write songs and poetry expressing our love towards what makes us feel lovable, loved, and loving.

Releasing Misplaced Responsibility

Releasing Misplaced Responsibility

What is it that has us take responsibility for that which is not ours? We do it with our children, our spouses, our friends, our employers, and our colleagues. If they are upset, concerned, nervous, disappointed, anxious or depressed, we feel we need to do something about it. Why is that…

The Pain of Expectations

The Pain of Expectations

Lately I’ve been dealing with chronic pain and inflammation in my body that doesn’t ever seem to go away. I’ve had a few accidents over the years that have contributed to the pain. While I’ve paid lots of attention to these parts of my body, the pain just persists…

Emotions are Helpful Messengers

Emotions are Helpful Messengers

Why is it that so many of us are uncomfortable feeling our emotions? We distract ourselves, focus our energy on other people’s business, or numb ourselves with food, substances, work or television to stay out of feeling what is going on inside of us…

Hoping Others Will Change?

Hoping Others Will Change?

Do you believe that others will change in ways that will make you feel better? Do you hold out hope, even when the other person's behavior isn't fundamentally different? Perhaps you look for the tiniest shred of evidence that something has changed, and then hang onto that for days, weeks, months or even years?

Taking Our Power with Us

Taking Our Power with Us

Why do we often feel we have no power when we leave a person, job or situation? When we feel the leave-taking isn’t of our own making, we can tell ourselves and others how we were no longer wanted, made wrong in our efforts, taken advantage of, misunderstood or otherwise rejected…