Beliefs are like magnets. They generate expectations and feelings that tell the universe to bring more of the same to you. When we believe our needs are not important, we feel hurt and resentful. The universe responds with more experiences that have us feel unimportant, hurt and resentful. It is universal law. Like attracts like.
So how do we break the cycle? By changing our beliefs to ones that feel good. To do this, we must begin to challenge and question the beliefs that do not feel good.
I like to start with Byron Katie's question; “Is it true...is it really true?” Most beliefs were chosen to help get our basic needs met as children, and to help us make sense of upsetting experiences. As children, it was almost impossible to blame the adults whom we counted on for survival, so we made up beliefs about ourselves to make sense of our young experiences. Now as adults, we have the insight and power to ask ourselves, “Are these beliefs really true in this situation?”
As a child, it would have threatened my survival to believe, "my mother is jealous of me, and puts me down to feel better about herself.” Instead, I told myself I must not be good enough the way I am. If I was, my mother would say nice things about me.
As an adult, I can now question that belief. Is it true that I'm not good enough... Is it really true? No...it's not true. In this current situation, I am being the best most honest me that I can, and that is more than enough for me. What a relief. Now the universe can bring me more experiences of feeling more than enough.
Beliefs are just thoughts we have been thinking for a long time that we have decided are true.
Isn't it time to question what is true for you now?
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