What if what we wanted had nothing to do with anyone else? We live on a planet with 7 billion people so that concept may be hard to understand especially when we are programmed to believe that what we want comes from others. Think of it this way, what if no one needed to do anything or be any other way for us to want what we want? What if no one needed to change our mind, tell us we should want something else, or otherwise insist we give up what we want? If we knew that the universe would deliver our wants to us in the perfect time and way with the right people and places, we would stop thinking our wants were about others. Many of us think that our wants may hurt others or get us in trouble. We may end up feeling anger, resentment, guilt or shame for taking care of ourselves, doing what is best for us when others have a different response or wanting something different.
If our wants are totally about ourselves and not about anyone else, then no one out there is ‘responsible’ for delivering them to us. We don’t see this because we have been trained to look to other people or systems as the sources that meet our needs instead of looking to ourselves and the energetic universe to deliver to us and through us. Having a want doesn’t mean we are going to get that want met in the ways and timeframe our ego thinks it should happen in. This is where we can often get caught. We get to determine the what and the why of what we want, and the universe gets to determine the how and the when it is delivered. When we look to those around us and assume they will give us what we want either as part of their role (spouse, friend, sibling) or as part of their job (boss, employee, colleague) we keep ourselves stuck in our limited ideas about HOW our wants can arrive for us.
The other side of this coin is that what other people want isn’t about us either. That was such a huge relief for me, as I had believed for many years that I was responsible for others feeling good and that meant getting what they wanted. I would feel guilty if I couldn’t help or felt obligated to support what others wanted in ways that didn’t feel good to me. Yet the bargain was struck – I’ll help you get what you want and then maybe, you will help me get what I want. Tying what I wanted to others had me end up with the short stick every time.
If I want to go to a workshop to learn a new skill yet I think it’s up to my partner to decide if we can spend the time and money as well as find care for the kids, what I want is now tied to my partner. Instead, I can let my partner know what I want and find out what they are or are not willing to do to support it. If they want nothing to do with it, I can still pursue other avenues to get what I want including childcare that I feel good about. I don’t need my partner to be the source of getting what I want. When I’m not attached to how it happens, the universe provides the next easy answer if I simply keep my eyes and heart open and focus on what I want knowing it will come in the perfect time and perfect way. When I remember this, it’s amazing how each next step or offer of support just shows up in my circumstances if I pay attention and stay open. I don’t have to know how it’s all going to unfold, yet I can trust my ‘gut’ to tell me what to move towards in each moment. In this way, I can experience what I want. My focus and response to what my insides are telling me will always get me to the finish line.
How can you let your wants just be about you today?
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