Why do we often feel we have no power when we leave a person, job or situation? When we feel the leave-taking isn’t of our own making, we can tell ourselves and others how we were no longer wanted, made wrong in our efforts, taken advantage of, misunderstood or otherwise rejected. If we made the move, we may feel justified, entitled, responsible or guilty for how we and others were affected. In both scenarios we become disempowered and keep our attention and energy on the old situation that we no longer want. It keeps focused on who is right and who is wrong instead of focused on what is right for us now. How do we turn these situations around in our minds so that we can take our power with us by seeing each experience is orchestrated FOR us and not AGAINST us, regardless of the circumstance that created them?

What if our circumstances were always happening for us and are meant to help us heal, learn and grow, even if we can’t understand it with our minds. With that perspective, we can bring our attention to our own insides and assess what we can do right now to be kind and caring with ourselves regardless of how things are unfolding. One barrier to this self-exploration is the ego. The ego wants to tell a story about how our future is going to unfold based on what we have experienced in the past. This is its effort to keep us safe from old trapped emotions it feels your inner child is unable to handle. The story it tells you about the circumstance is designed to protect you from a future that has not occurred yet based on what you have learned in the past. The ego has a myriad of strategies to help keep you safe from feeling your feelings. You may experience this as anxiety which can often signal repressed pain looking to move up and out. As you step in and honor what your inner child needs and take over for the ego with better stories and feelings, the ego can relax and get on board with the new story you are telling inside. This requires you to look for opportunities to take over for the ego as often as you can to demonstrate your empowered choices to honor and support your most authentic self.

My favorite demonstration of empowerment is when we know what we want, what we don’t want, and we ask for it clearly and lovingly, without attachment to the outcome. We take care of ourselves and allow others to do the same without making anyone else responsible for our experience or for getting our needs met. Most of us did not learn how to do this nor did our parents or those that came before them, yet we can learn to do this for ourselves now.

One step is to change the meaning of the experience. What if the leave-taking experience was for our highest good? What if it moved us out of a situation that no longer serves us, where it was challenging to contribute, collaborate, learn and grow? When we remember that the universe wants us to be and authentically express our unique selves, we start to see that our circumstances are actually for us and not against us. We stop blaming others and turn our focus away from what we don’t want and turn it towards what we do want. We begin to realize where our power lies; Not in our circumstances and not in other people’s actions or opinions of us. It lies within us and how we respond to the circumstances that flow into our lives when we are fully ‘at choice’. When we follow what is most important to us and empower ourselves to move towards it, we can see how our power was never taken from us. It was and is always here to show us the way to move towards what is best for us now.

How can you tap your power to move forward now?