Do you believe that we are responsible for other people's reactions to us? If others tell us we hurt them, is it true? Can we really hurt others by simply being ourselves?
Many of us have learned that it's our job to make sure others feel OK. It's like a bargain we have made unconsciously with each other: "I'll make you feel OK if you make me feel OK." This is a sure way to lose touch with our true responsibility for ourselves, and how we give our power away to others.
What if the reality is that we are only responsible for our response to others? Could it be that we can't really be hurt by anyone else? What if the hurt we feel from another's words or actions is simply a match to our beliefs about ourselves (that we are too fat, too slow, too much, not strong enough, not a good parent, etc.)?
Quantum physics demonstrates that our experience really is all about our relationship with ourselves--not about our relationship with others. The quantum field is constantly bringing us experiences that match our beliefs about ourselves... including other people’s words and actions.
The bad news about this new perspective is that we can no longer blame anyone for making us feel bad. The good news about it is that no one can actually hurt us. We can only be hurt when we believe what others are saying/implying about us is true.
When we believe that something is wrong with us, or that we are not enough, it will show up in how other people relate to us. We may find others being controlling, critical, sarcastic, rejecting, angry, resentful, neglectful or blaming. When they do this, we feel hurt because our ego tells us that these reactions are because something is wrong with us, or that we are not enough. We believe that we have no choice but to tolerate this type of hurt from others because deep down we believe their perspective about us is true.
Once we realize that we are OK just the way we are, in fact we are exactly what’s needed, exactly as we are, we can relax. If others are treating us in negative ways, we don’t respond in the same way. We can see that their negative perspective is about them, not us, and then we don’t take it personally. If it’s not personal, then there is nothing to be hurt about in the first place.
Uncovering, challenging, and changing our limiting beliefs is the key to inner peace. No one can hurt us with their words or behaviors if we don't believe their thoughts about us are true.
What old hurts are you willing to see differently today?
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