Do you believe that we are responsible for other people’s reactions to us? If others tell us we ‘hurt’ them, is it true? Can we really hurt others by simply being ourselves?
Most of us have learned that it’s our job to make sure others feel OK. It’s like a bargain we have made unconsciously with each other “I’ll make you feel OK if you make me feel OK”. A sure way to lose touch with our true responsibility and how we give our power away to others.
What if the reality is that we are only responsible for our response to others? Could it be that we can’t really be ‘hurt’ by anyone else? What if the hurt we feel from another’s words or actions is simply a match to our beliefs about ourselves (too fat, too slow, too much, not strong enough, not a good parent, etc.)?
Quantum physics demonstrates that our experience really is all about our relationship with ourselves – not about our relationship with others as Lynn McTaggert outlines in her books ‘The Bond’ and 'The Field'. We are in constant communication with the quantum field and it is constantly bringing us experiences that match our beliefs about ourselves…including other people’s words and actions.
The bad news about this new perspective is that we can no longer blame anyone for making us feel bad. The good news about it is that no one can actually hurt us…we can only be hurt when we believe what others are saying is true.
Uncovering, challenging, and changing our limiting beliefs is the key to our inner peace. No one can hurt us with their words or actions if we don’t believe those thoughts about us are true.
When we try to feel powerful by controlling how others see us or controlling what they are doing, we give our power away to them and become a victim if they don’t see us or behave the way we want.
What if true power is about being ourselves? Asking for what we want and saying no to what we don’t want, clearly and lovingly, without attachment to the outcome? True power has nothing to do with anyone else…just us and our moment to moment desires and preferences expressed in the world.